By Kelly Robbins
We all have stories we tell… stories about our lives and how we got to be where we are today. Stories about our successes and our failures… stories about our struggles and adventures.
What you may not be aware of is that we also have secret stories we tell only to ourselves. And more often than not these stories are not supporting.
As women we are aware of the powerful impact stories have on us, yet as a group we are terrible at controlling our own stories.
The stories going on in your head, whether or not you are conscious of them, set the tone for your entire life. Odds are you have the same five or six stories repeating themselves over and over again and you are not even conscious of them. The fact is your stories, or the conversations you have with yourself, affect every single result you receive from everything you do.
Your stories have a powerful impact on:
- The actions you take
- The outcomes you receive
- The people you meet
- How much money you make
- How you see yourself
How you see yourself is one of the most important ones as it impacts every aspect of your life large and small, because it affects both your confidence in yourself and the outcomes you expect and demand from life. If you don’t expect to make the sale or earn the money, odds are you won’t. If you expect making money to be hard it will.
Here are some examples of unsporting stories you may be telling yourself:
- “It’s hard to make money in this economy. Look at all the businesses going under and all the people getting laid off. Who am I to start a business right now?”
- “If it wasn’t for my husband buying that new car and my three kids I would have enough money to invest in marketing and coaching and really grow this business.”
- “Things just never work out the way I want them to. It’s not my fault my business isn’t taking off. It’s all this other stuff and all these other people impacting me and my results.”
Other unsupportive stories work at home women tell themselves to avoid selling (read making immediate income):
- “I don’t want to interrupt these busy people by asking them if they need my services. I’ll just email them or send them something nonintrusive, like a post card.”
- “I don’t have time to sell, I need to send my newsletter and update my website and change my branding and do all my other marketing tasks first. Then I’ll sell”.
- “I don’t have enough time.”
- We also create victim stories, stories of lack, stories of excuses why we aren’t or can’t do things that we know we need to do to generate income.
How do we move past these unsupportive stories?
The first step is to become aware of your stories. This means paying attention to what’s going on in your head and listening to those secret conversations that no one else hears. Several years ago I caught myself having conversations with myself blaming my husband (now ex-husband) for how I felt and why if he acted in a different way I would react in a different way. One day it suddenly occurred to me that nobody affects the way I feel. Only me. Those conversations had to stop and I was the only one that could do it.
The thing is these non-supportive conversations are taking up space that on-task, supportive, money-generating opportunities should be filling.
I’ve had coaching clients that work hard on their business and do marketing and are very task oriented in their daily lives, but their mindset is of lack and failure. Because of that one (albeit important) thing they are struggling and not making the money they desire. While these clients are awesome at getting tasks done and doing “everything they are supposed to do”, they become frustrated because they aren’t achieving the results they want. It’s my job as their coach to help them transition from concentrating on what they are “doing” to how they are “being” and making concerted changes in that area.
Being aware of your story is the first step in making money. Creating a new, positive self-supportive story is the second step. Have fun with it. Create a story of a highly confident and successful woman that easily wins sales and influences people.
If you are not making the money you desire, check your story.
Kelly Robbins, MA, is the founder of The Copywriting Institute, a training and resource center for copywriters, and A Marketing Connection, Kelly Robbins, MA, is an award winning author, copywriter, and marketing coach/consultant. Kelly created the 10K a Month Copywriter program as well as the Marketing Coaching Program for Copywriters. Kelly also publishes The Copywriting Connection a free e-zine on copywriting and business building tips. Visit www.TheCopywritingInstitute.com to receive your free report and 1 hour audio download, “6 Things Every Copywriter MUST Know to Make High Profits in Copywriting —fast” or visit us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/TheCopywritingInstitute.