By Deb Bixler
The “WHY?” question is useful when we are facing challenges in attaining something we want or making changes.
I have learned that when I want something and cannot reach my goal, it is often because I am doing something to sabotage myself subconsciously.
Often we say one thing and think another …
Someone who is in a weight loss program may say “I am reducing my weight” but think “It's impossible.”
In business, our goal may be to achieve a certain level or promotion, and in our mind, we say “so-and-so can do it because she lives in a better place. It won’t work here in Wisconsin.” This conflict between thought and action creates an impossible dilemma. You cannot accomplish what you do not think possible.
Ask the Right Questions.
When you have something you want to do, one way to determine if your thoughts match your words is to ask these questions.
- How much do I want this?
- What will it get me? (Visualize your result vividly. See yourself there.)
- What is it worth? (Financially, emotionally, and to your family.)
- Is it worth the effort? (My experience with this is very straightforward: I will only put effort into something that I want.)
See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear, and feel what you’ll feel.
When you visualize that outcome (stopped smoking, achieved ideal weight, earned a certain amount of money, got the promotion, asked that person out on a date, etc.) make the colors bright and experience it in your mind as you think it would be.
After that, check for a secondary gain. By that, I mean check to see how you will benefits if you do NOT make the change.
Here are examples:
- The benefit of not reducing your weight is that you get to eat as much as you want.
- The benefit of smoking may be more breaks at work, or not suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
- The benefit of not moving up to the next level is that you don't have to make as many customer calls.
Once you’ve taken care of motivation and secondary gain, it is time to check for belief.
Ask yourself the four following questions:
- Do you want this? Did your subconscious mind say “yes” or did it say “maybe”?
- Is this possible for you? Did you hear “this is too hard” or “I can do this”?
- Do you know how to do this? Did your brain answer, “I got this” or “I can't figure this out”?
- Do you deserve this? Did you think “I really shouldn’t or can’t do it” or “it's worth the effort”?
Notice your immediate gut-level thoughts as you say these questions out loud. Be honest with yourself and listen closely to what your mind is telling you.
Does it seem like a congruent response (i.e. you believe it) or are you unsure?
The Process Takes Time.
This whole process takes quiet, reflective time for yourself.
You deserve it!
Take an afternoon and figure out why you have not achieved your goals. The simple way to start a mind shift is through positive affirmations.
Incorporate statements into your life to overcome the negative thoughts you've discovered. Incorporate daily readings into your life from motivational books which stimulate positive thoughts.
You can and deserve to reach your goals both in business and in your personal life.
Take steps to change your future and believe that you can succeed!
Deb Bixler teaches direct sales – party plan consultants best business practices that work for all companies. Learn more by visiting her website at www.CreateACashFlowShow.com