Setting and reaching goals is the way to live the life of your dreams, so the ‘guru's say. While I believe in the process, I have found that it is not always easy. I attest to this fact by the many clients I work with who find setting goals – even one goal – difficult, let alone the achieving part. They either have difficulty with one or the other – setting goals or making them happen.
I have been studying why this phenomenon is occurring. Is it the inability to dream big or to visualize the goal? Is it they are focusing on the wrong type of goal or one that does not align with their “wants” and “shoulds?” Or is that they don't feel they have the resources, time, money or support, to be able to set goals? I have found that it is neither of these, although they play a part.
What I have found is that most people cannot set and achieve goals due to their internal belief system. This is the number one problem that prevents people from allowing themselves to believe that they can and deserve to have all they want – the career, relationships or life of their dreams. These internal, self-limiting beliefs can actually become debilitating as people become frustrated and often depressed in what they are not doing and being.
As children, we are optimistic, idealistic and accepting in all that we encounter in our world. But, as we grow older, we have outside influences, family members, teachers, life events, etc., that enter our world and skew our perceptions and realities. We then learn to develop patterns and habits of dealing with these new realities, which is where these limiting beliefs are the result and get reinforced. Over time, these belief systems become our reality even though they may not be right or true. And these realities can hold you back from doing and being all that you are – if you allow them to. If you give them power, they will take a hold that will rule your life forever.
The way to go after what you want is to stop giving the power to these irrational thoughts and beliefs. You do this by challenging them and asking a simple question, “Do I know this to be absolutely true?” When you are unable to validate negative thoughts and beliefs, you will now be unlearning them and can begin to focus on positive and truer ones. The more you keep your focus on the “truisms” the more deeply they will become embedded into your belief system. Using affirmations, inspirational quotes, and asking the “do I know this to be absolutely true” question will change negative patterns and create a new, more powerful belief system that will increase your confidence and ability to act on your goals that will take you to your ideal future.
Dr. Barbara Seifert, CPC is the President of Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting in Orlando, Florida. She works with small business owners & solopreneurs who want to achieve measurable and life-long improvements in their performance so they can make more money, have greater satisfaction and achieve personal and professional success. She also coaches in organizations to enhance employee engagement and for leadership development. Dr. Seifert is an adjunct professor, a certified professional coach, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming practitioner and a Certified Law of Attraction coach. You can learn more by visiting www.cyscoaching.com and Your Career Success Blog at www.allaboutcareerssite.wordpress.com.