By Lisa H.
Have you ever had a business engagement that just tanked?
And to make things worse, it wasn’t the only thing that went wrong for the day.
You got up in the morning, spilled your coffee all over your new suit, and everything seemed to go downhill from there.
You didn’t get any new clients, your colleagues seem irritated and for some reason, you couldn’t make headway on a new project.
Maybe it didn’t have to do with the world being out to get you; maybe your rotten results had to do with your attitude.
To ensure your highest level of business success, you need to not only focus on how many clients you have, what services you offer and how many sales you can make, but purging yourself of negativity so that you are better in each of those areas.
Holding on to grudges, resentment, frustration or anger all affect your business. It affects how you interact with your clients and colleagues, the quality of service you offer and ultimately your sales.
Just think about it. When you are calm, cool and collected, your tone and body language are probably very different than when someone on the road cuts you off, gives you the finger and blurts out a series of random expletives.
You can see from the example above, that depending on the circumstances, your emotional state and reactions may be different.
I want to delve into this more deeply. Your emotional state doesn’t have to be represented by a calm or animated body, it could be as simple as the vibe you are giving off—a vibe that is not bound to face to face communication.
Have you ever been in the presence of someone and just felt calm or like you could tell them anything?
For example, in July of this year, I participated in a high-altitude running camp in the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina, and during one of our bus trips, one of the other camp participants leaned over to me and said “you are so easy to talk to.”
It was completely unexpected; especially because I hadn’t talked to her much over the course of the trip. She was picking up on the vibe I was emitting at that time which was being open to listening.
If you are anxious, irritated, angry, frustrated or feeling scattered, you won’t be able to clearly pick up the vibes of those around you. You won’t be able to distinguish whether your agitation is coming from the fact that you are still annoyed from spilling your coffee that morning or from the present situation you are in.
Making decisions from a place of agitation, frustration, anger or annoyance, can not only be bad for you, it can be bad for business.
The Ripple Effect
There is a rapport-building technique used in sales called mirroring. Mirroring is when one person adopts the physical and verbal behaviors of another. It tends to happen automatically between people who know each other well.
For example, good friends will often use the same words, phrases and gestures when they're together.
Mirroring can also extend to feelings. I say this to tell you that a client or colleague may not know why they feel a certain way around you, they will just know that they do.
Knowing this might prompt you to do everything in your power to ensure that the vibes you are sending off are good.
A couple of tips to keep yourself free from collecting baggage are:
Don’t Take Life Personally
When you take life personally, you make yourself a victim. It is like signing up to play recreational basketball and then getting angry when someone bumps into you.
Yes, some players will bump into you on purpose and others will bump into you by accident. But it is silly for you to get upset at either one because you know that when you play basketball, you are going to get bumped.
It is just a different game that you are playing now. Instead of playing basketball, you are playing the game of life. So, expect to get criticized by others and then deal with it so that it does not come out in your business dealings as hostility or something else.
When we are not fulfilled we are more likely to become agitated. Make sure that you don’t get too depleted—physically, mentally and emotionally. A quick tip to doing that is to first pick how you want to feel and then find those things that will make you feel that way.
So, if you want to feel more connected, ask yourself what you need to do to make that possible? Do you need to call your best friend, hug your children or meditate?
See once you figure out what it is that you want or need to feel, you can cut through the crap of trying to fill it up with arbitrary material possessions and go right to the source.
So, be aware of the vibes you are sending out, you never know what business you might be turning away.
Have you ever not done business with someone because of how you felt around them?
Lisa H. is mother, entrepreneur, self-proclaimed introvert and practitioner of all things happy. With her blog, Getting to Zen, she hopes to help you re-awaken your spirit, live fearlessly and do what you love.